Confession Numero Uno

Okay, actors, time to fess up: how often do you find yourself feeling envious or jealous of another actor’s success?

Oh, come on now, be honest.  WE ALL DO IT.  We’re only human, after all.  Granted, how often we feel these feelings is another story but the feeling is the same: every now and then it’s easy to get flustered by someone else’s progress.  We’re in the business where we are the brand being marketed.  When you are constantly competing against other actors all of the time, it’s quite easy to start comparing.

Lately, I have been having these feelings.   Not that I’m not happy with the direction my life is headed, (it’s quite the contrary, actually), however, I’m set back by seeing many mediocre talent get ahead with ease when I really have to work hard to perfect my craft!  Now, I don’t want to be as bold as to say they are talentless hacks…but they are:  talentless hacks getting ahead (okay, locally) in places where I always struggled (i.e. getting a theatre company CD to call me back, etc.)

Yes.  It’s a blow to the ego.

Now, believe me when I say I’ll give credit where credit is due; I say it often, actually.  But when something bewilders me to the point of almost questioning why I’m pursuing this career, really begs me to wonder what the hell is going on?

I know, I know, I know that I will be up against actors of all sorts of levels when I hit LA.  I know this.  I think I’m prepared for it (or at least prepared to drink heavily when I’m at a loss for words.)  But I don’t live there yet.  Things are not supposed to be confusing before I get there! Instead, I’m finding myself confused as to why someone who has a hard time being cast in several local companies, suddenly is called back for LEADS at a major professional regional theatre. Especially one that very rarely hires local actors.  It’s beyond my understanding.

Unless she’s just lying.  Which could be.  It’s so easy (especially online) to claim anything. Oh lovely.  That is just a fine morsel to swallow.  Perhaps I just don’t understand the whole “I have to lie in order to make others like me,” argument.  Perhaps I’m just not meant to understand anything and instead learn that jealousy will not get me further in my career.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I’m only human.  I’m allowed a few gripes, right?

Has anyone felt those tings jealousy? How have you dealt with it in order to stay focused on your own goals/successes? I’d love to hear feedback!


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